Believe in the power of believing.
Say..."I Believe," and believe it.
Believe in something, anything, that gives you the courage and strength to continue on when it would be so easy to give up.
Believe me when I say that you are beautiful.
Believe me when I tell you "You deserve to be happy."
Believe that you have choices, and that you can choose wisely.
Above all, believe in yourself...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Hopes Garden
"Doug, I have an Eating Disorder".....These are words I remember saying one wednesday night in January 2008. He had driven me to London, walked me into the group and waited outside. There were about 8 of us and an amazing lady named Gil who was facilitating the group. We all talked a bit about ourselves, and then discussed a topic that was chosen for the night and then did a brief close on how we felt. I almost ran to the car after the group. I knew before, because two doctors and lots of people had pointed this out to me, but finally that night I knew it for myself, in myself, for real. I was 41 years old and finally there was a reason i was like i was....and better yet...there were others like me! I had an eating disorder and i wasn't alone!!! There were others like me and they too were not just young teens..they were women with husbands and families. It was an amazing revelation for me and i will never forget it. Oddly, when you think about, how strange is that I was in some way excited that I was finally accepting this Eating Disorder as what i was sick with. But I guess after years of not knowing how....why....what, it finally just made sense to me! And that for me somehow seemed to make it somehow better...somehow bearable!
So I could go on and on about Hopes. How great it is and how it saved me those first four and a half long months until May 19th when I entered Homewood. I didn't miss very many Wednesday night groups.Since I found it I have bonded with lots of great girls (and even an few awesome young men). One of my very best friends now is a great lady who I met just before I entered Homewood, (she had just been discharged) and got to be very close to afer my discharge. I have heard stories that have broken my heart to pieces, reduced me to tears, and made me break out in laughter. I have watched people fall apart and come back together. I watched a young man come so close to death from his eating disorder that I know there is a God, because there is no other reason he would be here today if there wasnt! (BTW...he is doing so great now and although I am sure he still has his struggles he is definately in a good spot right now...a healthy spot!) After HW, I had trouble adjsuting to Hopes, and until my first mini relapse didnt start going back to group. At present I am attending an Art Therapy Group, still with Gil and planning on soon doing the Adult |drop in group soon too. They have also recently started another group which would have been just what i needed upon leaving HW. It is for people who are in a better place with their eating disorder just to check in. I think that was a big issue for me when I first went back after In Patient treatment, there were so many people so in need of in patient treatment, that it made it hard being in such a good spot...it sure didnt help with the guilt issues so many of us live with.
Over the past almost two years Hopes has been there when and if I need it, and that is a wonderful thing. I have tried to give back by helping when they do fundraising. (It is NOT government funded...surprise surprise!) The staff there, Karen, Gill and Marilyn as well as a few others who do occasional groups are all amazing...as are all the volunteers I have encountered. London is so lucky to have this resource. I hope the day comes when I can say....."HOPES GARDEN...I used to go there!", but until then, I am so thankful it is there, and thankful I found it when i did.
So I could go on and on about Hopes. How great it is and how it saved me those first four and a half long months until May 19th when I entered Homewood. I didn't miss very many Wednesday night groups.Since I found it I have bonded with lots of great girls (and even an few awesome young men). One of my very best friends now is a great lady who I met just before I entered Homewood, (she had just been discharged) and got to be very close to afer my discharge. I have heard stories that have broken my heart to pieces, reduced me to tears, and made me break out in laughter. I have watched people fall apart and come back together. I watched a young man come so close to death from his eating disorder that I know there is a God, because there is no other reason he would be here today if there wasnt! (BTW...he is doing so great now and although I am sure he still has his struggles he is definately in a good spot right now...a healthy spot!) After HW, I had trouble adjsuting to Hopes, and until my first mini relapse didnt start going back to group. At present I am attending an Art Therapy Group, still with Gil and planning on soon doing the Adult |drop in group soon too. They have also recently started another group which would have been just what i needed upon leaving HW. It is for people who are in a better place with their eating disorder just to check in. I think that was a big issue for me when I first went back after In Patient treatment, there were so many people so in need of in patient treatment, that it made it hard being in such a good spot...it sure didnt help with the guilt issues so many of us live with.
Over the past almost two years Hopes has been there when and if I need it, and that is a wonderful thing. I have tried to give back by helping when they do fundraising. (It is NOT government funded...surprise surprise!) The staff there, Karen, Gill and Marilyn as well as a few others who do occasional groups are all amazing...as are all the volunteers I have encountered. London is so lucky to have this resource. I hope the day comes when I can say....."HOPES GARDEN...I used to go there!", but until then, I am so thankful it is there, and thankful I found it when i did.
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