Hopes Garden

"Doug, I have an Eating Disorder".....These are words I remember saying one wednesday night in January 2008. He had driven me to London, walked me into the group and waited outside. There were about 8 of us and an amazing lady named Gil who was facilitating the group. We all talked a bit about ourselves, and then discussed a topic that was chosen for the night and then did a brief close on how we felt. I almost ran to the car after the group. I knew before, because two doctors and lots of people had pointed this out to me, but finally that night I knew it for myself, in myself, for real.  I was 41 years old and finally there was a reason i was like i was....and better yet...there were others like me! I had an eating disorder and i wasn't alone!!! There were others like me and they too were not just young teens..they were women with husbands and families. It was an amazing revelation for me and i will never forget it. Oddly, when you think about, how strange is that I was in some way excited that I was finally accepting this Eating Disorder as what i was sick with. But I guess after years of not knowing how....why....what, it finally just made sense to me! And that for me somehow seemed to make it somehow better...somehow bearable!

So I could go on and on about Hopes. How great it is and how it saved me those first four and a half long months until May 19th when I entered Homewood. I didn't miss very many Wednesday night groups.Since I found it  I have bonded with lots of great girls (and even an few awesome young men). One of my very best friends now is a great lady who I met just before I entered Homewood, (she had just been discharged) and got to be very close to afer my discharge. I have heard stories that have broken my heart to pieces, reduced me to tears, and made me break out in laughter. I have watched people fall apart and come back together. I watched a young man come so close to death from his eating disorder that I know there is a God, because there is no other reason he would be here today if there wasnt!  (BTW...he is doing so great now and although I am sure he still has his  struggles he is definately in a good spot right now...a healthy spot!) After HW, I had trouble adjsuting to Hopes, and until my first mini relapse didnt start going back to group. At present I am attending an Art Therapy Group, still with Gil and planning on soon doing the Adult |drop in group soon too. They have also recently started another group which would have been just what i needed upon leaving HW.  It is  for people who are in a better place with their eating disorder just to check in. I think that was a big issue for me when I first went back after In Patient treatment, there were so many people so in need of in patient treatment, that it made it hard being in such a good spot...it sure didnt help with the guilt issues so many of us live with.

Over the past almost two years Hopes has been there when and if I need it, and that is a wonderful thing. I have tried to give back by helping when they do fundraising. (It is NOT government funded...surprise surprise!) The staff there, Karen, Gill and Marilyn as well as a few others who do occasional groups are all amazing...as are all the volunteers I have encountered. London is so lucky to have this resource. I hope the day comes when I can say....."HOPES GARDEN...I used to go there!", but until then, I am so thankful it is there, and thankful I found it when i did.